BEST FRIENDS FOREVER (hey, did you see that Time Magazine picked it as a summer beach read?) is coming in about six week, which means I'm thinking a lot about publicity and promotion.

This year, for the first time since 2001, my publisher's campaign contained no print element at all. No big day-of-publication New York Times ad, no little Times ad, no ad in any paper or magazine at all. Just lots and lots of advertising on the Internet and on the radio.

On the one hand, I want the ads to target potential readers as specifically as possible, to meet them where they live, which means Facebook and Twitter, gossip and fashion websites, top 40 radio, mom-blogs and the like.

On the other hand, as a former print journalist, the tacit admission that newspapers and magazines don't matter much anymore is a little hard to take.

So when it came time to supplement my publisher’s efforts, I looked around for a print component to compliment the plan already in place, and quickly arrived at People magazine.

The ad's ready to go. The date's been chosen. Now comes the big roll of the dice: who will be on the cover the week the ad runs?

A few weeks ago, the Times published a fascinating piece about the people on People a few weeks ago about how the editors choose their covers, about what works and what doesn’t, and how “at this point Farrah has to die. It’s the only cover left for her.” (their words. Their words! Not mine!).

Evidently, we've all had our fill of Madonna, whereas Jon and Kate are as huge as their brood (which totally makes sense – I’ve seen about five minutes of the show, but, thanks to People, I have many elaborate theories and opinions about their marriage).

Death is big, whether it's a dead princess, dead pundit, or dead crocodile hunter. Weight gain and weight loss seem to be guaranteed sellers – who doesn’t love the story of a dramatic transformation or, better yet, the sad tale of a former skinny who’s fallen off the wagon?

But celebrities are tricky, and the editors acknowledged that it’s hard to find the sweet spot of a subject appealing to the magazine's wide range of readers, who are diverse in terms of age (boomers and x'ers), geography (red states and blue), and whether they care about NASCAR, country music and Heidi and Spencer.

Which leads me to this question: what would be the absolute, ultimate, jaw-dropping, earth-shaking, cannot-look-away People cover to run July 21st (available on newsstands in major cities 7/15?)

Brad and Angelina Get Hitched? Brad and Angie break up? Brad leaves Angie for Jen?

Diana: Back from the Dead…and Pregnant?

Kirstie Alley, thin once more? Valerie Bertinelli, heavier again?

A secret royal love child? A shocking celebrity death? Baby down a well? Farrah down a well?