Yesterday I spoke to a Jewish Federation group in Orange County. You know, the O.C..

Sadly, everything I know about the O.C. I learned from TV. Specifically, everything I know I learned from my single viewing of “The O.C.,” where one of the pretty boys gets beat up by a bunch of other pretty boys, who kick sand in his face and say “Welcome to the O.C., bitch!”

The show never made it into our regular weekly rotation, but that didn’t stop “Welcome to the O.C., bitch!” from becoming a regular part of our marital vocabulary.

So yesterday, standing in front of 525 nice, beautifully dressed, philanthropically-minded Jewish women who came for lunch and entertainment, I had to focus every fiber of my being on not saying, “Welcome to the O.C., bitch.”

I made it about five minutes into my speech. Then I said it. They laughed. They didn’t appear to be horribly offended. Finger crossed, right?