"I piece myself together uncertainly. 'Suave' says my shampoo. 'All-purpose solution,' says my contact-lense cleaning fluid. 'Total control,' says my styling gel. 'Cool' says my antiperspirant. I am not living up to the expectations of my toiletries."

Still plowing through LOVE MONKEY, which is the most aggravating book I've read lately. For every passage like the one above -- sharply observed and very funny -- there's one where the hero takes his date of the moment to meet President Clinton and notes, after the ex-president checks out her face -- and her body -- "I'm flattered at first, but then I remember his taste in women."

Grr.

In other news, litblogger and podcaster Ed Champion invited me to live-blog the Oscars -- aka the real Olympics -- over here, along with a bunch of other bloggers and writers, including Elizabeth Crane, Jonathan Ames and Kelly Link. I've got an iffy wireless connection, a sleep-resistant toddler, and a chip on my shoulder about the IN HER SHOES snub. I may restrict myself to commenting solely about the nominees' footwear.

Good times.

Jen