I think I'm probably the last one out there watching "The Bachelor" (and yes, I'll turn out the lights when I'm done), but did anyone else love it when Charlie talked about dating the two remaining ladies long-distance?

"They'll go back to their jobs," he said mournfully, "and I'll go back to L.A...."

Because Charlie? Has no job!

And yet, no matter how emphatically I told my TV set that an airquote-unairquote "real estate developer" who divides his time between his brother's swingin' pad in Los Angeles and his parents' house in Montauk without seeming overly burdened by the demands of the workplace is, as the French say, unemployed, the ladies didn't seem to hear me.

Oh, well. It was my second-favorite thing I've heard on reality TV this season, the first being on "American Idol," after Paula claimed she'd worked with Heart on the video for "Alone."

Can you imagine how that went? "'Hey, Ann, can you take a few steps back? And move a little too the left? In those shadows back there? And....no, a few more steps back, please. We can still kind of see you!"