So now I'm sick, which is possibly the universe's way of telling me to quit making fun of David Remnick, and to stop wondering aloud whether there's ever, in the history of his tenure, been a woman's byline on the "Shouts & Murmurs" page. Merrill Markoe? Carol Leifer? Fran Lebowitz? Anyone? Ever?

Meanwhile, in Philadelphia news, it's still not New York!

Just kidding. In real Philadelphia news, Sunday is the Superbowl, and tomorrow morning is Wing Bowl. Due to some weird quirk of fate (or a serious screw-up in the guidance department), one of my brother Joe's high-school classmates, Tim Janus, is a competitor.

This means that tomorrow afternoon we'll be hosting a guy who got up at five a.m. to head to an auditorium full of twenty thousand screaming drunk fans to down a hundred-plus chicken wings in half an hour.

More pertinently, tomorrow afternoon our bathroom will be hosting that guy. And I'll be driving him home from the event ("He doesn't like to take public transportation after he eats," Joe explained).

Pray for my plumbing.