I'm back in the land of Very Little Internet, which is a most excellent place to be when it's summertime, the skies are blue, and you've got a new book coming out in six weeks or so.

I'm trying not to think about the new book, or the reviews, or the mammoth fourteen-city tour I'll be embarking upon come September. I just want to stay as unplugged as I can be, and enjoy the sun and the surf, and as much time with Lucy as I can get before I'm on the road again.

Meanwhile, the Drama of the Photo Shoot continues, as I showed the Polaroids to a few of my nearest and dearest.

HUSBAND: "Wow. Wow, they're very....no, no, you look terrific! I just....wow. Huh. Wow. Hey, do you think I could hang on to this one?"

BEST FRIEND: "Wow. Yikes. Jeez. Jen, they can't show that in a magazine, can they? Are you sure? Are you sure they're going to fix that in Photoshop? Because that's just an awful lot of...Oh, that one's beautiful, I hope they use that one....hey, is that your nipple?"

MOTHER: "Now I'm not going to see any nudity, am I?...Oh. Oh, there's Lucy! That one's beautiful, except you don't really look like yourself. I'm looking at this and thinking, "Who is this person?"....Oh, really? Makeup? Hmm...well, they're certainly very sexy, and...Jenny, is that your nipple?"

Suffice it to say that at this point I'm praying for merciful editors, and to the Great Gods of the Airbrush, and telling myself that if Pamela Anderson can write a novel, then, goddamnit, I can pose in a slip.

And I figure, worst-case scenario, I won't be the only woman to spend the rest of her life saying, "But they told me they'd be tasteful!"

Meanwhile, on the Lu front, we got molars. Or at least we're on the Road to Molars. She's in a lot of pain -- she keeps patting her cheeks and saying, "Oh, no!" in this very piteous tone of voice. I'm trying to keep her comfortable and distracted. She's talking a lot more, too. This morning we sat in front of the local little grocery store, waving and saying, "Bye bye!" to shoppers for a good ten minutes.

"If I walk back the other way, will she say 'Hello?'" one woman asked.

I had to explain that, regrettably, at this point, it's "bye bye" or nothing.






Jen