I finally figured out the other reason why I was so damn bothered by the whole Apple Paltrow thing.

Have you all read GEEK LOVE by Katherine Dunne? It's one of my all-time favorite books, although now that I've reproduced I'm not sure whether I would read it quite the same way.

GEEK LOVE is about a couple of circus folks, Art and Crystal Lil, who deliberate try to have freakish children, with the idea that a kid who's got a tail, or fins, or is a hairless albino dwarf will have a built-in ability to support him or herself. So Lil takes arsenics and heavy metals while she's pregnant, and the results are about what you'd expect.

One of the carnival's travelling exhibits is a display of the babies who didn't survive, and our heroine, Olympia Binewski, the aforementioned albino dwarf, has to dust the jars in which they're preserved. And one of the non-viable things floating in a jar is called...Apple.

"Apple was big but dull," Oly observes. "She looked like a Tibetan cherub. Her coarse black hair grew close to her rumpled eyes. I myself could dimly remember her sleeping in the top drawer of Lil's big bureau. She never moved anything but her lips, her eyelids, and her bowels."

I can't imagining anyone who's ever read that book wanting to name a baby Apple. So I guess Gwyneth isn't a GEEK LOVE fan.