With all the travelling I've been doing -- and there will be more to come this fall -- I figured it behooved me to enroll in every frequent-flier program I could, not just USAir, which has Philly as its hub.

So I went to sign up with United, and they asked me to pick a title. From a list that included the following:

Admiral, Baron, Baroness, Brigadeer General, Cantor, Elder, Rabbi, Right Reverend and...you guessed it...the dreaded Rear Admiral.

I think I'm going to go with Swami. Because really, why not? What are they going to do, ask me to prove it?

Then again, on my way home from Cleveland, they did ask me to take my straightening iron out of my suitcase. Evidently, from certain angles it looks like a weapon of mass destruction.