Woke up at 4 a.m. to find this hard, knobby....thing slightly but visibly protruding from my tummy. Got freaked out. Tried to wake up husband, who rolled over (eyes still closed) and put his hand on the protrusion.

"Feels like a foot," he said, and fell back asleep. Leaving me to lie there with this tiny little foot poking me, with scenes of Alien, and its many sequels, running through my head.

Woke husband up again. "Do you think I should do something? Because this is kind of weird."

Husband leans over. "Attention, baby!" he says. "STOP KICKING YOUR MOTHER!"

And then I rolled over a few times, and the foot went away, and has not reappeared thus far. But still. Very strange.

I finally caught up with "The Bachelor." Didn't you just love Drunk Girl (TM Saturday Night Live?) The moaning? The retching? The "my teeth feel like they're falling out!" comment? Hee. And then she gets a rose anyhow! Of course, I'm having my typical reality-TV problem -- too early in the season, too many interchangeable contestants, too hard to tell one toothsome blonde twenty-two-year old apart from the next, but I expect this will resolve itself soon.

Also, thanks for all the nice letters about Ms. "Are You There, God? It's Me, Bitchface" and her angry "why didn't you write me back" email. I know that the price of hearing from hundreds of really nice, kind, supportive people is that you're going to occasionally hear from one cranky not-nice one, but every once in a while, I need to be reminded. So thanks to everyone who wrote in to remind me.

Now I'm off to buy a Diaper Genie. Does it get more glamorous than this? Didn't think so.