Just got back from the doctor's. This baby is never leaving.

Okay, that's probably not technically true. My six dozen pregnancy books assure me that no pregnancy has ever lasted forever. But c'mon, dog! I'm due in less than a week, and, without going into explicit gynecological detail, there's nothing -- nothing -- that would indicate that the Bun is on his/her way.

I'm telling you. The baby has never leaving. The baby has, quite rightly, determined that the womb is a fabulous place -- warm and secure, where all needs are instantly tended to. So why leave?

Argh. I've got a non-stress-test on Monday -- my official due date -- just to make sure everything's fine. And then what? "And then we wait," says my doctor.

We wait...and we force our husband to take us out for spicy Mexican food.