And now, a publication day haiku:

Oh, Anna Quindlen
Why B&N have big stacks
of your book, not mine?

Thank you. Thank you very much. Be sure to tune in tomorrow, when I will dazzle the crowds by rhyming the world "Palahniuk." And I will tell you all about my six-hour photo shoot with People magazine which involved, among other things, Wendell perching on my shoulder (and digging his nails into my back), and me crouching by a fire hydrant, trying to look "pleasant" for twenty minutes. Favorite snippet of dialogue:

Photographer: "Can you try to look sultry?"
Me (attempting sultry look)
Photographer: "Um....sultrier than that?"
Me: (trying for sultrier than that)
Photographer: "Okay, I think we're all done at this location."

Oh, dear.