I was in the gym this morning, on the StairMaster, reading Women's Own, or Women's Day, or Women's Own Day, when I got to the "Ask the Doctor!" feature. A reader writes (and I'm going to paraphrase, because I left the magazine for the next StairMasterer), "My girlfriend told me that oral sex can help increase the chances of conception. However, my husband really doesn't like to do it and complains (a lot!). Is there evidence that this will help me get pregnant that I can use to convince him?"

Of course the doctor gives the straight answer -- saliva is acidic, blah blah blah, sperm motility, blah blah, oral sex isn't going to help. Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Lady, why would you WANT to have kids with a man like that?" Which, dear readers, is why I am not a sex columnist. (It's also probably why I don't write the "Can This Marriage Be Saved" column, either).

So what did we all think of tonight's American Idol? Can anyone else see the freshly booted R.J. in a George Michael cover band? And can they just put Nikki out of her misery already so she can go on and open for Pink? I like Nikki. She's got -- in the words of early-eighties David Lee Roth -- char-AS-ma. But, vocally, she's in a different league than the other two ladies. And, charasma-wise, she's in a different league than Justin. But I'm starting to think that not even Justin can survive the vocal pyrotechnics of Kelly and Tamyra, and we're going to have a girl-girl final two.

Last but not least, before SnarkMom emails to complain that all I ever write about is bad television and that my brain's turning to mush, here's what I'm reading now. (Hint -- it isn't by Elinor Lipman).