Hooray for John Waters, who says he hopes Hairspray: The Musical becomes a hit so that it will filter down to high schools all across our great nation, and finally the fat girl will get the starring part. (Also the drag queens will get starring parts, too, but I'm not sure how many high schools have drag queens. Drag princesses?) Either way, we've got tickets to see it on Broadway next month, and I'm counting the days!

Hooray for the Philadelphia Eagles, who beat the Green Bay Packers in their first pre-season game. I was there, but, big surprise, not paying much attention to the football. The things that made the biggest impression, in order, were....

1. People wearing jerseys that say HE HATE ME on the back. Fans of Vince McMahon's short-lived and much-reviled XFL will remember that HE HATE ME (real name -- Rod Smart) -- was an XFL player. And now he's an Eagle. Well, a provisional Eagle. Adam says he'll probably get cut. But still!

2. The Cheerleader Who Forgot Her Pom-Poms.
This was rich. The cheerleaders come bouncing out to the field. They drop their poms in a big sparkly pile and the music starts up. "Some girls, they like candy, and others, they like to grind. I'll settle for the back of your hand somewhere on my behind). Note to the choreographers -- Madonna's "Hanky Panky" is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE given how many little kids there were at the game. I mean, do you really want to put parents in the position of having to explain the intricacies of S&M to Junior on the fifty-yard line?

But I digress. After the "Hanky Panky," the cheerleaders ran in a line to retrieve their pom-poms, only, somehow, one girl forgot hers. So she's going through the whole shakey-shakey dance with no pom-poms, looking extremely ridiculous and totally out of place. "Get the Turk!" I said. (The Turk, for you non-football-fans out there, is the guy on the staff of every team who, during training camp, delivers bad news to the rookies getting cut. See how much I learned watching HBO's HARD KNOCKS?)

Finally, about midway through the routine, one of the other cheerleaders gave Miss ForgetfulPants one of her pom-poms. So now they were both bouncing around with only one pom-pom. Heh.

And, finally....

3. The idiot guys get their comeuppance.
If you've been to a football game, or, really, any sporting event, you've seen these guys. They're young. They're tattooed. They're really, really drunk, and really, really loud. To leave the game last night, you had to pass through a revolving metal door. We were waiting in line to leave, and a passel of idiot guys comes barrelling through the line, shoving people aside, and they push their way through the door and they're yelling at each other and cursing and one of them shoves another one and whack, he gets it from the door, right in a chin. I thought the line was going to burst into applause. There's nothing quite like the feeling of watching bad things happen to bad people.

Also, there was football. The Eagles won. I read a book. It was a beautiful night, clear, with a breeze, where you could almost imagine fall coming. The new Target finally opened up in my neighborhood, and it's fabulous. And, best of all, my friend Ginny showed me the way to an Olympic-sized city swimming pool that isn't closed, isn't crowded, isn't filthy or frightening, and has adults-only lap swim every morning.

My summer happiness is now complete.