Greetings from Austin, where today we encountered the thing we like least about being on the road -- the dread 5 a.m. wakeup call, so you can go be on live TV at 6:40 a.m. (I have mentioned that I'm not a morning person, right?)

So anyhow, the radio alarm clock goes off at five sharp, and of course I can't find the button to turn it off. Oh, I can find the button that switches it to AM just fine, along with the button that allows me to change the time, but not the button to make the damn thing be quiet. And finally I find it, and then phone rings with my backup emergency wake-up call.

"Miz Weener?"

Yeah. Great. Good morning to you, too. (You do know that it's Wyner, right? The infinitely less offensive pronunciation. Note to self: consider using married name while travelling.)

So I take a shower, and dry my hair, and do makeup, and put on the Itchy TV Suit, and my escort drives me to the station, and I'm leafing through the Austin Chronicle's weekend magazine while I wait, and on page 72 I find this listing for my reading tonight:

"JENNIFER WEINER signs copies of and discusses and provides detailed 8X10 glossies with arrows and diagrams and teeny tiny magnifying glasses so you can examine what is GOOD IN BED."


Honestly, people, I'm bewildered. They do know it's not a how-to book, right?